On Procrastination

It's why I'm not at the grocery store. It's why my list is not even made yet. It's why my feet are cold (socks aren't washed), it's why I'm writing this blog now (would rather do this than shop) and also why I didn't write this blog before now (was busy playing free cell, even past the point where rationalization could justify it, to the point where I could no longer ignore the fact that even rationalization no longer justified it). I even got as far as closing down all my programs and almost clicking on the start menu to shut down before I remembered one more thing I could do before I turn the computer off.



But why do I procrastinate so? I learned not to in college. No really! In high school I would always put off assignments, phone calls, college applications, and getting out of bed until the last possible second. But in between high school and college I had a baby, and once I was trying to juggle 18 credits in 2 days a week on campus, a part-time job, and the parenting of a toddler, it wasn't long before I figured out that I had better get started on that ten-page paper a few weeks beforehand, because if I put it off until the night before it was due and then suddenly an ear infection struck, I was sunk. Somehow I had become so conscientious that I didn't even have to figure that out the hard way, earning straight A's that semester and even graduating from community college with my associate's degree still pulling a 4.0.



So what happened? Well, I'm sure clinical depression has a little something to do with it too, but personally I'm blaming it on the lack of external validation. I don't get a report card anymore. I wonder if that would help make me a better housekeeper (I totally suck at housekeeping, by the way). Maybe the looming prospect of getting a D in sock sorting would motivate me. (I was such an overachiever in school that although this may sound crazy I assure you it is actually very likely to be true.) I would try writing myself a report card but that seems like such a daunting task that I am quite sure all I would do is add it to the bottom of my list and then busily begin procrastinating!



So some other time we'll talk about my completely appropriate and yet insane overuse of parentheses and italics, but for today...<sigh>...I'd better get myself to the grocery store.